The Part About the Dragon was (Mostly) True by Sean Gibson

Author:Sean Gibson [Gibson, Sean]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Parliament House

Over the next three days, we were attacked by shambling bog men—we made it a point to identify their penises to confirm (though Whiska, displaying a rare and irritating maturity of thought, opined that bog man (person) anatomy might not necessarily mirror our own and, consequently, what we thought were penises (peni?) might, in fact, serve some other purpose, such as allowing them to breathe while submerged, obtaining nutrients from the swamp, or just being something to swing around when they were bored, like a biological toy (though, let’s face it, that’s basically what a penis is)).

Every single time, a quick shove from Borg sent the creatures sprawling, and not a single one got back up and resumed its assault (or what we assumed would be an assault—in the absence of any of them actually striking any member of the party, I wasn’t entirely sure they were really trying to attack us). So, it turns out that the threat posed by shambling bog men is vastly overrated, though I’d have no problem turning them into fierce and deadly killers when I composed my epic song about the quest. I did, however, omit any mention of their peni.

A considerably greater threat was the numerous alligators that lived in the swamp. I mentioned that Rummy almost got eaten by one (and badly bitten in the process), but that wasn’t the only instance where we almost met death at the hands of toothy jaws.

Deep into our trek across the swamp, Nadi, leading the party and carefully testing each step with the tip of her sword, stepped onto what, by visual inspection and with the probing of a sword tip, appeared to be solid ground. A second later, she went hurtling through the air, landing face first in deep muck and alerting the rest of us that we might need to watch out.

Rummy was next in line, his right arm in a sling from the previous gator encounter, making him even more ineffectual with his mace (though he spent far more time worrying about how the injury might affect his prestidigitation skills). He stumbled backward into Borg, who propped him up and stepped forward, assuming, perhaps, that it was another shambling bog man (person) that had caused the disturbance.

Not so much. The creature that exploded out of the brackish water was fully fifteen feet long and had jaws the size of a hearty dwarf’s legs (and just as strong, too, by the looks of it, and believe me—dwarf legs can do some things). It looked mostly like an alligator, except for the fact that it was missing all of its flesh. In other words, it was a gigantic undead skeleton alligator, because a regular gigantic alligator attacking you in a swamp isn’t terrifying enough.

Fortunately, if any member of our party was going to get bitten by a gigantic undead skeleton alligator and survive, Borg had the best chance. The beast locked its jaws on Borg’s arm, and though its teeth had a hard time

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